Dishes, Misogyny, and Other Anecdotes: An Overview of Marianopolis’ Students’ Views during Women’s History Month
When was the last time you and your friends had an open conversation about gender roles? Maybe you even shared some noteworthy anecdotes with each other? Lots of students still follow preconceived notions and stereotypes when looking at relationships between people of different genders. On a larger scale, workplace discrimination, equal pay, and access to reproductive healthcare still remain unsolved issues. The little “research” we conducted fittingly shows that we sometimes overstate improvements in our everyday lives.
Throughout the research phase of our article, we tried to contact as many different types of people as possible, but we were mostly getting detailed responses from women. When we asked Jean-Christophe why that might be, he offered an insightful explanation. The second-year student answered that men tend not to think much about things that are typically considered “women’s issues.” He argued that men are raised–or socially conditioned–not to see or recognize behaviour that we would consider misogynistic today in Canada.
Andrew Tate vs. Malala
When we asked participants which popular public figures they admire or dislike for their views in relation to women, two people repeatedly appeared. First, an individual named “Andrew Tate”: a self-proclaimed “realist” who strongly believes in traditional gender roles for both men and women. He thinks men should follow strict rules about masculinity as well as provide for women, who should obey them in exchange. Second, Malala: a well-respected women’s rights activist who was shot by the Taliban (and survived) in her fight for girls’ education.
However, we should note that many people did not provide any names or share any strong opinions about public figures. We asked interviewees why they thought people couldn’t come up with names, and we got some insightful responses. A second-year female student argued that we tend to ignore people who share opinions similar to ours. In other words, if someone describes themselves as more liberal, they will not view the opinions of another liberal person in regard to women as something extraordinary. They would consider it “fundamental” or “common sense.” The same logic could be applied to other people across the political spectrum.
Are men and women friends here? People can’t seem to agree
As for the way students view relations between people of different genders at school, we got some pretty split responses. One group of participants was under the impression that girls usually only hang out with girls and boys usually only hang out with boys, making it the norm to interact with the same gender. Since students are often seen with their own gender, the relationships between guys and girls aren’t seen as “normal.” Some even define it as awkward or non-platonic. Another group thought that there were lots of mixed friend groups and that everyone pretty much gets along. Men were often part of the second group, and women tended to be part of the first one.
As you can observe, men and women showed different perceptions throughout our research process. Two first-year female participants shared how their behaviour with men differs from their behaviour with women. One of these students explained that she tends to act “weaker” around men in places she doesn’t often frequent because they would be more polite to her. On the other hand, her friend avoids talking to guys because she doesn’t feel the need to interact with them, though she does have some male friends.
Does attraction play a role in this perceived division? Once again, there is some disagreement. A student told us that even queer friend groups, where women are not necessarily attracted to men and vice-versa, are not really mixed as far as gender is concerned. So what is the reason then? She expressed that it all really goes back to the way we’re raised as children. Additionally, the student stated that people with gender identities outside of the binary are often excluded in discussions like this one.
We should also note that there was widespread distaste for “manosphere influencers” among female responders. Such figures share advice with their male audience, often in the vein of self-help, but they have been criticized for exploiting men’s insecurities for their own profit and creating further divisions between genders. However, none of the male responses mentioned these figures, maybe due to discomfort in sharing those views or simply because they’re not interested in them.
“Lab partner makes me do the dishes” and other (odd) stories
Thankfully, our responses indicate that most participants have not been targets or witnesses of misogyny at school (rare good news at Marianopolis). Period products were also mentioned during our research, and we’re satisfied to see that they’re available for free in almost every bathroom at school since Fall 2022. However, we think it would be pertinent to share some anecdotes that stood out:
- While she was working at her job as a cashier, one of the interviewees received a male customer. The machine was not working, so he strangely asked if it was a woman.
- A student’s lab partner makes her wash the material because “he thinks [she] [can’t] write a lab report.”
- During her fitness class, a student heard a male classmate tell her “I see you, *insert inappropriate B word*” while she was working out. Why did he say that? It’s a mystery only he knows. Even the student was confused.
- An interviewee shared how she thinks people treat her differently because she is not conventionally attractive. At a club meeting, a guy only talked to her “prettier” friends while she was standing right next to them.
- Another student revealed that she wears makeup partly because others, regardless of gender, tend to treat her better.
- An interviewee shared how her elementary school carefully monitored the length of students’ skirts. Girls’ appearance was surveilled more often than boys’ appearance.
- Of course, the infamous confessions page was mentioned: this Instagram account posts anonymous confessions made by Marianopolis students and has been the subject of controversy this past year. However, we will not cover it in this article since that would open a whole can of worms.
Are we doomed? Depends on who you ask
Many interviewees shared some suggestions to help us eliminate everyday sexism. They expressed that students should be more open-minded and conscious of their actions: let’s be honest, impulses can get the best of us, and we sometimes need to take a moment to think before acting. Some individuals highlighted the need for better overall communication and politeness between people regardless of gender.
Still, many participants also emphasized the need to change broader social structures and attitudes. This could apply to a whole range of issues: from daily comments about women’s appearance to rape culture. In this case, participants argued that we should take on a collective responsibility to educate as opposed to an individual one.
Nevertheless, two interviewees said that they do not believe we can really change anything by simply educating people. At our age, a class on misogyny would be rather ineffective. According to this logic, as little Jimmy grows up, he absorbs all kinds of teachings from his environment. Once little Jimmy becomes a grown man, it’s too late to change his worldview (that’s why you shouldn’t complain about your humanities).
Though this line of thinking seems pessimistic, it reveals how powerful socialization can be at an early age and how it impacts us for the rest of our lives.
Hopefully, this article opened (or closed!) your eyes
Enjoy your break and try to get some sleep!
